Okay, what?
by KujyouHikari
Summary: Ahem. So where do you think people's powers would go when they die or lose them? Well, Harry Potter learnt that the hard way. Kind of. He/she is grateful for it, of course. WARNING: OVERPOWERED. MARY/GARY-STU-ISH. CAPITALS INCLUDED. I think insanity and unrealistic would like to play a part as well. HARRY POTTER-VERSE currently. MAY USE KALEIDOSCOPE IN THE FUTURE AND CAUSE CHAOS.
1. Prologue: What

Okay. So where do you think people's powers would go when they die or lose them? Well, Harry Potter certainly DID not expect to be born a male Mary-Sue, provided by Kurokami Medaka herself. Only problem: there are no equivalent to Zenichi. Insanity, chaos, and not to forget not-so-melodramatic drama is just waiting to burst into life, provided by the power of 'The End'. And not to mention, 'The End' is slightly sentient and not very willing to roll over and lose a host this time... finding a new host is a pain in the neck, you know that?

This would be mainly humour and blowing things out of whack, enjoy.

-Prologue:I certainly did not expect this.-

Many men would be proud to claim that they never had the privilege of having an experience as a magical girl or some sort of person like that. In fact, they would probably kill themselves out of the sheer _**shame **_and _**hilarity**_ of the situation.

"...Raising Heart, set up!"

Unfortunately for Dudley and Vernon Dursley, two relatively 'normal' residents(if you don't count that one is a human whale and the other is growing according to such expectations) of 4 Privet Drive, this was _totally_ not the case for them.

[For those who have exceedingly picky brains or have a serious attitude towards details, you _might_ have noticed I didn't include Petunia. The trauma that is caused to a woman by a magical girl is completely different, in this particular matter. Also, it just doesn't sound as catchy. The latter is the real reason of course. The previous monologue was just a stupid excuse.]

To be perfectly honest, they deserved it. A good smacking in the face, I mean.

And humiliation**.** And torture. And a good beating. And _torture_, of course. Yes, that's what I forgot.

Poor Dudley and Vernon. I feel _so_ sorry for them. Maybe, in consolation, they should be allowed to be sent into a world full of _magic_ and _flowers_ and _Sailor Scouts_-

Maybe they would die faster, albeit more painfully with a **very** disturbed mind, and have the ability to NOT go to the deepest levels of hell. Hmm, wait a second, that gives me an idea...

Mwahaha.

That was only three syllables, by the way, notice The Sarcasm people. And yes, those capitals are intentional. Stop picking at the seemingly interesting mistakes as you read, because seriously, it's boring. Time consuming, too. So STOP.

I am always getting off track. But I shall leave one last statement and try to ignore that gaping hole in that wall, which I broke just now. The keyword is TRY.

Anyway. May some god(ess) save the Wizarding World, because Harry Potter, AKA the successor of Kurokami Medaka, is certainly not going to. Really.

...I think.

(—And no, I don't think aware!Suzumiya Haruhi would be the god who does this. She would have probably laughed all the way and conjure out popcorn, while watching it be thrown into chaos. That girl is dangerous, I swear.)

**つづく**

A/N: Dynamic ENTRY!

...My goal was to fill a whole page with exclamation marks, but due to my lazy nature I decided it would take too long and I only filled one line instead. One character only fills a very small space, and it is a pain in the neck to do it.

This is my first attempt to write humour. So it may not be that funny. I hope it is kinda amusing, though. I am just not that humorous, as many people have stated. I settled for sarcasm instead. I mostly write serious stories, so I hope this story would be okay in its nature.

And before I forget, a warning to flamers: I shall use the flames to cook some barbecue, so flame if you like. I shall make some good food out of it. Save some money, too.

The following section is about Harry h(erself). Explanations shall not be given at any point in this Author's Note. The freakin' story hasn't even started, people.

Name: Harry Potter

Status: Gary/Mary-Sue ("And proud of it." she puffed out her chest.)

Gender: Umm, this department is taking a break due to it's confusion.

Age: Depends on the point of story

3-sizes: ("NOT. EVEN. IN. YOUR. DREAMS. Pervert. Unless you are a girl or you just came across this section unintentionally.)

Notes:

1) She loves anime, manga, and books. She proclaim that they are her life, second only to technology. Though lately that seems questionable...

2)?

3)?

Okey-dokie. I'll stop with the teaser.

A word of warning: this won't be updated on a regular basis. I will try to update at least every month. I hope.


	2. Ch 1: The worst heroic name ever! Part 1

-Chapter 1:Harry the Great Does Not Sound Good. How about The-Boy-Who-Lived?-

Part 1:

Harry James Potter, the successor of Medaka-something-or-another was not that proud to call himself a part of the Wizarding Community of Britain. For all you intelligent species out there(which I assume you are) who are reading this, you may notice that there is something wrong with the previous sentence. Was it the grammar? The vocabulary used? The conjugations?

Oh, who am I kidding. Of **course** you might have noticed that Harry Potter knows the existence of magic, and assume he has already had the incident with Hagrid 'politely' teaching dear young Whale Jr. Also known as poor, poor, Dudley. Assuming that, you may think that the author has skipped through the events all the way to the train or something. And then, that leads to the subconscious conclusion that the author is either lazy and incompetent, or that the author believes that there would be extreme spoilers for the story if she wrote so.

Am I right?

Well, you are wrong about those facts which I have led you to believe. 'Ha ha, very funny.' you may say. Okay then, laugh it off. I am just going to silently torture you with my spookiness which cannot be expressed through words. What can these inky-black characters do to a reader? Turn into flesh-eating ants and chomp you up?

I appreciate the mental image. It was very pleasant. I am sure you are either 1: blinking blankly at the screen which is producing these words as you scroll down the page, or 2: laughing nervously while edging away from the computer, praying to your goddess/god/faith that it is not going to happen. You are sure that the authoress _must_ be a pleasant person.

Why, thank you! I can now stop thinking up plans to torture you, since anyone, women or men, love a good compliment! Though it is not sincere, I congratulate you on your effort! I'm even clapping mockingly!

But back to the topic. Our cute little protagonist, Harry Potter, was in somewhat of an annoying situation. He was enjoying watching the latest episode of Sword Art Online, when a shrill scream shook the house. The word that was screamed sounded vaguely like 'oh no I have the worst stomachache ever! I am going to die!' or something of the sort. The Dursleys ALWAYS and NEVER FAIL to make a fuss out of nothing. For example, Dudley gaped at the fact that Harry was watching an anime from the _future_ from his trusty laptop that had pretty much spontaneously burst into existence. When Harry was asked, he just gave a frightening smile and casually said that it was none of your business, thank you very much. But Dudley and Harry did come to a mutual agreement in that aspect: as long as Dudley does not tell his parents about what Harry can do, Harry would let Dudley watch any media from the future or past, and in exchange Harry has free access to Dudley's gaming systems anytime he wishes too. Initially, Dudley was reluctant to do so and challenged Harry by proclaiming that Dudley was superior.

Not a great move, if you ask me. I mean, was he really that stupid? Well, needless to say, after, ah, Harry _coerced_ Dudley _**peacefully**_ into the deal with the de- I mean, the deal with Harry, Dudley was much more willing to relent on such matters.

Especially after his cousin decided to fire random, pink, energy balls of 'friendship' at him.

Ahem.

The point, is that the Dursleys and Harry had some kind of...unusual relationship, as one may call it. After the first humiliating and absolutely unnaturally 'freakish'..._incident..._ occurred, Vernon and Petunia were very much agreeable with dear little Harry.

The Dursleys, in the beginning, was hell bent on not letting their resident little **monster **tainting their ideal, happy family. As soon as Harry could work, they forced him to do chores and lashed out at him verbally. Perhaps they got some kind of sick relief from it. Beating up children is NOT the way to the ideal, normal and absolutely mediocre family. (Which they weren't in the first place, so it seems quite pointless.)

Months after months, the Dursley family noticed a change in their burden with all of their anti-wizard-ist glory. Harry was getting more cooped up in his cupboard, and didn't talk much to them. When they scolded him, he just stared with a 'What-the-hell-I-am-bored-and-you-say-that-every-day' look. (What should I say, I think I added too many hyphens in that one.)

However, the real madness began when the breaking started. Breaking what? You ask. My answer shall come in such a way; the grand moment where I finally type up some plot.

Here you go.

XxX

"Now, Dudley, remember that momma loves you. If anything happens, call Mommy immediately, okay?"

Mob Teacher #1 wondered if those twisted, purple hearts that flowed out of the 'Mommy' bouncing off the head of a boy was a good omen. He certainly did not think so. Why would a parent name their child _Dudley_? Dudley, after all, can also be written as Dud-ly, with dud meaning useless, or stupid, or something horrible like that. He sighed, wondering if names of the modern society could be more creative. I mean, the author named him _Mob_ _Teacher_ because she was too lazy to think up a name for god's sake!

Back to the incredibly doting whale family, Petunia grinned broadly as her child entered the classroom meekly. Finally! Now, her child could be away from the bad influence of a monstrosity and learn from the nice, holy environment of Normality! Although, recently, her child had been delving deep into Asian culture... but, it was normal, right? After all, all of those games that he had his hands busy with originated from Japan.

She ignored the small voice in her head smirking that she was not meant to know or use such sophisticated vocabulary, and that something sinister is happening to her child. Oh, there again. 'Sinister', a word which she didn't know.

Waiting patiently as trees flew past, it wasn't too long until her patience bore fruit: the sight of home.

The thought was quickly squashed by the fact that the little monster was still there, staring at them blankly from the darkness.

'But no worries.' she thought happily. 'That thing has been holing up into his cupboard lately, and not bothering us as much...'

She stepped out of the car, chatting happily with her husband, before they finally arrived at their house. Opening the door, Petunia told herself to look forward to a refreshing afternoon.

That is, before her whole body froze, and her growing smile stopped in its tracks.

Her husband, curious as to why his wife suddenly became a living statue, before taking a peek as well. The same fate befell him.

Well, why? What was like, the reason for them being so...uptight all of a sudden? Did they catch Harry stealing food from the fridge or something.

Actually, no.

Then why?

As a matter of fact, Petunia and Vernon Dursley opened the door to find that there was a hole on the wall.

A freaking. Giant. _**Hole**_.

~To be continued~

I didn't want there to be too much of a cliffhanger, but I think that this type of end would rouse your curiosity more. ….That is all I will say...I typed this while having a fever of 37.9ºC, so please expect mistakes...I hope you like this chapter. If you review I would be eternally grateful. Also, readers of my other story, PoT, I am not giving up. I just want to re-plan it because honestly I think it is pretty bad. But this story is a fresh start, and Harry Potter is easy to read in school rather than have earphones on and getting suspected by teachers, this one would probably be updated more. That's that. Well, see you people at the next update. Thanks to those who has followed me faithfully.

Also, Part Two Would be Harry's perspective...kind of, and explaining the title. I hope this chapter was interesting enough...


End file.
